Greek haircuts and the hairy ball theorem.

You can't comb a coconut flat- or comb a hairy ball without getting a cowlick somewhere- or can you if you selectively ply your scissors upon that cowlick? Another way of putting the same question is to ask if some sort of haircut for private investors (bad hat hedge fund types) in Greek bonds- or whatever- could comb flat the hairy ball of global finance? Presumably- on the analogy of no wind here means a cyclone somewhere else- a Greek haircut necessitates, dunno, say Chinese hair plugs?
My intuition is that there's real obvious reasons why a forced Greek haircut would be a bad thing though it might still be fun to try.