It rubs the lotion on its skin or else Indology gives it the hose again

Western Indology kidnaps a fat chick and keeps her in a pit in its basement. It starves the fat chick and makes her rub lotion on her skin. It doesn't talk to her directly but says 'It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.'
Why does Western Indology behave like this? The answer, of course, is that it wants the fat chick to lose a lot of weight and thus provide a lot of loose skin for its Domestic Science Project of stitching itself a cute skin-suit so as to look real purdy and like mebbe get a date for Prom?
Now I'm not saying Western Indology isn't to be complimented for its Scientific attitude and Christian hospitality to fat chicks. The question for me is whether the fat chick currently getting the hose ever had any connection with India. What if she's from Georgia or Azerbaijan? Would we still care?
No is the short answer. The long answer, involving reading Billimoria on Spivak on Subalternity, is also no. But only the latter is complicit in Hannibal Lecteur's indomitable drive to ingest the inner organs rather than merely wear the skin of other people. Ultimately, Hannibal is shown to be the Superman and gets to marry Clarice. Buffalo Bill, on the other hand, was just a sad loser.
So, in nuce, that's the story of the Post Colonial critique of Western Indology. Except there's a sequel. Buffalo Bill had a twin sister and guess who she's got in her basement? That's right. It's Purushottoma Billimoria desperately rubbing lotion into his skin to avoid getting the hose again.
Karma's a bitch that way.